There comes a time in life where we stop and realize that we need to make a change or we will end up regretting our choices. I’m starting to feel like I’m not living the life that I want to. I feel that I’ve become too processed and too lazy. That isn’t something that I want to show my child.
The bottom line is: I’m not happy.
Since I’m the only person that it matters to, I’m the one that has to make the change. So I am.
Not tomorrow. Today. Right this moment. I owe it to myself to take the steps I need to take so that I can look at my life and say that I’ve been true to myself.
Recently, I started purging my life of as much negativity as I could. This may seem insignificant, but it was necessary. Where did I start the purge? Twitter. I began to notice that the people I was following were so negative. They were funny. Funny and vapid. Negative and depressing. So I removed all of them. Now, I’m following the positive people, with joyful things to say. Know what? They are also funny. Win, win.
It was a small change that could get me started on the right foot.
Also, I promised myself that I would take some time for lunch. It didn’t have to be for a long time, it just needed to be long enough to allow me some down time. I’ve been stressed with all of the father issues I’ve been having, that I needed to make sure that I was giving myself permission to do nothing. I’m not good at doing nothing, so the plan is to blog on my lunch break.
I want a change. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I deserve to be happy. Happy, without fear of that happiness. That is a story for another time though.
There will still be coffee, wine and chocolate. Some things I just can’t give up. Not yet anyway.
Every once in a while I’ll think of a movie I want to see, or have recently seen, and it gets me thinking about my own personal movie trivia. I thought you guys might find it fun to see what I came up with. Or not.
I just need to stop thinking about negative stuff and this worked for me.
Movie I know all the words to:
“Just keep swimming”, “Fish are friends, not food”, “Nemo touched the butt”.
Movie I’ve never seen:
To clarify, I haven’t seen the original ones. I’m shocked the Hubby married me.
Movie I’m ashamed I watched:
I was bribed to go.
Movie I can watch 1000 times:
I evidently love me some damaged Bradley Cooper.
Movie I walked out of because I couldn’t take it anymore:
Sorry Matt. I like your new stuff.
What about you?
all images are Google Images
I thought I would not focus on the fact that I have a thousand things to do right now. I thought I would post a picture I took last year of an incoming storm. It is actually a very accurate representation of how I am feeling. I refuse to give up hope. I refuse to believe that there is nothing I can do. Even if I am being stubborn, I still see the incoming storm. I’m overwhelmed. It’s almost like I know that I should be stressed and freaking out, but I’m not. It’s like I’m on the verge of tears, constantly disappointed, and frustrated about the lack of possibilities.
It’s not pretty.
So, I’m going to post some pictures of pretty things.
New purse –
This picture made it look really BLUE. It’s not quite that bright.
Current Lotion love –
Mild scent, extra moisturizing.
Stripes and spring colors. No additional comment needed.
Comfort Food –
I may have gone Gluten Free, but I still need pasta.
Caring for an aging and ailing parent can put a lot of things into perspective. You make decisions about things that are usually in the forefront of your psyche, like this. The situation with my father has given me the opportunity to prioritize those things that I have avoided tackling in the past. Sometimes waking up to “growing up” isn’t as much fun as one would think.
- I’ve started an aggressive debt reduction plan. No more credit cards for me!
- I’ve started making smarter choices about diet (not the same link as above). Still going to eat brownies…just not the same kind of brownies.
- I’ve set up an appointment with a financial adviser. I really need to learn to save for the future. I need to travel the world.
- I’m implementing a 30-minute minimum exercise activity per day. Shopping counts!
- I’m learning to not sweat the small stuff. The big stuff is perspiration-inducing enough.
- I’m learning to appreciate the better things in life, like Glenfiddich 12 yr. Single Malt Whiskey.
Bottom line: I’m doing everything I can to ensure that I don’t leave my son in this same position in 60 years. Oh yes, I plan to be around for a very long time.
And I’m going to enjoy it!!
Tomorrow is the first day of spring.
I generally like spring, but I have a feeling the Mother Nature may have gotten a bit disoriented and decided to remind us New Englanders who’s in charge.
My drive to work this morning:
The view from my office:
On days like today, I want to stay in bed. However, as you can tell by the above photos, I trekked into work. I also made sure that I was sufficiently caffeinated with a slippery stop at Starbucks. I made it. I should say we made it, because I totally asked Hubby to drive me to work today. I don’t like to drive in the snow and I wanted the company. He got the day off because of the awful conditions and so did Bean. Don’t feel bad for him, he got free Starbucks out of it.
It’s still coming down outside. As I sit at my desk
writing working, I can’t help but be thankful. I don’t say it often enough. I forget to stop and just be appreciative for life and its ups and downs. So today I’m taking an extra moment to be thankful for the things that have made me stronger, and the ability to relax. A minute to be in gratitude for the fact that my dad is getting better, even though he still isn’t sure where he is. Some time to appreciate the snow, and the future sunshine.
Tomorrow will be a new day and it will bring new experiences. Today, I will just be.
Today my son learned the song Ob La Di, by The Beatles. He sang it at dinner. We asked him if he knew who The Beatles were. He said yes.
“They are the bugs that wrote the song.”
I was so glad I hadn’t taken a sip of my drink.
Today was a bad day for my dad. He was very confused.
He called me early this morning to ask me where he spent the night. He was at the hospital.
He lost an electric scooter, but he couldn’t call it that. There was no scooter.
I asked him for his Medicare number, he didn’t know it. Then he called me back to tell me that someone needed his Medicare number, and could I call them back. It was me.
He had a rough day.
I’m just sitting here now with a glass of whiskey over ice, watching Life of Pi and not thinking about anything more than enjoying the movie.
Until tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will continue to look for a place for him.
I’ll also probably have another whiskey.