If I could talk to the twenty year old I used to be I would have so many things to tell her.
I remember adults telling me many things and giving me advice about what I should do. I remember brushing them off and thinking that I knew what I was doing. I wish I could go back to that time and listen with an open heart.
You can’t go back.
The future is all that you can face with an open mind and with confidence.
I woke up this morning on the overly emotional side of the bed. The one where I think about looking for a job and I want to cry. I looked back and questioned my decision to get a Master’s degree in Education. Why? No, seriously, WTF was I thinking? I could’ve gone with a Business Administration Master’s degree or a Psychology degree, but no, I went with Education. For all intents and purposes it’s useless and all I have now to show for it is debt. It is a big regret that I have. A huge regret. I may have finished, but I wish I never would’ve started.
Maybe one day I will be less upset with myself about his decision. Today is not that day.
I think about what the future holds for me and I honestly don’t know. I know I don’t want to be in a cubicle. I dread the thought. I know that the decision is up to me. I can say no to what doesn’t fit with me. We’ll see what happens.
The truth is that sometimes a person needs to have blind optimism. Today I will focus on the options I can control. I won’t look back at the bad decision I made, I will focus on the good decisions that I can make in the future. I have to stop looking at the past with regret. It isn’t helpful.
There, I vented.
Tomorrow will be more upbeat. I promise.