There Comes a Time

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There comes a time in life where we stop and realize that we need to make a change or we will end up regretting our choices. I’m starting to feel like I’m not living the life that I want to. I feel that I’ve become too processed and too lazy. That isn’t something that I want to show my child.

The bottom line is: I’m not happy.

Since I’m the only person that it matters to, I’m the one that has to make the change. So I am.

Not tomorrow. Today. Right this moment. I owe it to myself to take the steps I need to take so that I can look at my life and say that I’ve been true to myself.

Recently, I started purging my life of as much negativity as I could. This may seem insignificant, but it was necessary. Where did I start the purge? Twitter. I began to notice that the people I was following were so negative. They were funny. Funny and vapid. Negative and depressing. So I removed all of them. Now, I’m following the positive people, with joyful things to say. Know what? They are also funny. Win, win.

It was a small change that could get me started on the right foot.

Also, I promised myself that I would take some time for lunch. It didn’t have to be for a long time, it just needed to be long enough to allow me some down time. I’ve been stressed with all of the father issues I’ve been having, that I needed to make sure that I was giving myself permission to do nothing. I’m not good at doing nothing, so the plan is to blog on my lunch break.

I want a change. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I deserve to be happy. Happy, without fear of that happiness. That is a story for another time though.

There will still be coffee, wine and chocolate. Some things I just can’t give up. Not yet anyway.

In Pictures…

Every once in a while I’ll think of a movie I want to see, or have recently seen, and it gets me thinking about my own personal movie trivia.  I thought you guys might find it fun to see what I came up with.  Or not.

I just need to stop thinking about negative stuff and this worked for me.

Movie I know all the words to:

Finding-nemo-dory-marlin

“Just keep swimming”, “Fish are friends, not food”, “Nemo touched the butt”.

Movie I’ve never seen:

star wars

To clarify, I haven’t seen the original ones.  I’m shocked the Hubby married me.

Movie I’m ashamed I watched:

superbad2_large

I was bribed to go.

Movie I can watch 1000 times:

pat-and-tiffany-silver-linings-playbook-15808-1920x1200

I evidently love me some damaged Bradley Cooper.

Movie I walked out of because I couldn’t take it anymore:

The Talented Mr Ripley-02[1]

Sorry Matt.  I like your new stuff.

What about you?

all images are Google Images

Musings

 

 

clouds

 

I thought I would not focus on the fact that I have a thousand things to do right now.  I thought I would post a picture I took last year of an incoming storm.  It is actually a very accurate representation of how I am feeling.  I refuse to give up hope.  I refuse to believe that there is nothing I can do.  Even if I am being stubborn, I still see the incoming storm.  I’m overwhelmed.  It’s almost like I know that I should be stressed and freaking out, but I’m not.  It’s like I’m on the verge of tears, constantly disappointed, and frustrated about the lack of possibilities.

It’s not pretty.

So, I’m going to post some pictures of pretty things.

New purse -

purse

 

This picture made it look really BLUE.  It’s not quite that bright.

Current Lotion love -

cerisier

 

Mild scent, extra moisturizing.

Kicks -

shoes

 

Stripes and spring colors.  No additional comment needed.

Comfort Food -

quinoa

 

I may have gone Gluten Free, but I still need pasta.

Priorities

Caring for an aging and ailing parent can put a lot of things into perspective.  You make decisions about things that are usually in the forefront of your psyche, like this.  The situation with my father has given me the opportunity to prioritize those things that I have avoided tackling in the past.  Sometimes waking up to “growing up” isn’t as much fun as one would think.

For example:

  • I’ve started an aggressive debt reduction plan.  No more credit cards for me!
  • I’ve started making smarter choices about diet (not the same link as above).  Still going to eat brownies…just not the same kind of brownies.
  • I’ve set up an appointment with a financial adviser.  I really need to learn to save for the future.  I need to travel the world.
  • I’m implementing a 30-minute minimum exercise activity per day.  Shopping counts!
  • I’m learning to not sweat the small stuff.  The big stuff is perspiration-inducing enough.
  • I’m learning to appreciate the better things in life, like Glenfiddich 12 yr. Single Malt Whiskey.

Bottom line: I’m doing everything I can to ensure that I don’t leave my son in this same position in 60 years.  Oh yes, I plan to be around for a very long time.

And I’m going to enjoy it!!

The Choice

About a month ago I started feeling really craptastic.  I had increased pain in my body, stomach issues and lethargy.  I knew that it had to be stress compounded with food choices.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t eating at McDonald’s or anything like that, I was just eating out too often, because I was traveling, and it was wreaking havoc on my body.

I started doing some research on food.  As a general rule I don’t eat processed foods.  I eat a lot of vegetables and fruit, lean protein, fish and whole grains.  My one weakness is potato chips.  I really, really like potato chips.  I’m getting off track…

There more I read about wheat and gluten, and their effects, the more I started putting things together.  I did a trial run for a couple of days.  For two days I ate no wheat and, more specifically, no gluten.  I felt more energetic, significantly less pain and zero stomach issues.  It was a welcome change.

After the two days, I ate as I normally would.  Wouldn’t you know it?  The pain, stomach deal and the sleepy’s returned.

Since then I have been extremely careful to avoid gluten.  This does not mean that I am eating a low-carb diet, I’m just not eating gluten.

I’m not a doctor.  I am not giving advice.  I’m mentioning what worked for me.  I’ll do anything that will keep me from having to take daily ibuprofen.

I have been looking at a lot of recipes for this new adventure.  I have found the most amazing Chocolate Chip Cookies and I will post that recipe soon.  Right after I stop eating them.

Plus, potato chips are gluten-free so I’m all set.

 

Snow Days of Spring (Almost…)

Tomorrow is the first day of spring.

I generally like spring, but I have a feeling the Mother Nature may have gotten a bit disoriented and decided to remind us New Englanders who’s in charge.

My drive to work this morning:

road

 

The view from my office:

side window

 

front

 

On days like today, I want to stay in bed.  However, as you can tell by the above photos, I trekked into work.  I also made sure that I was sufficiently caffeinated with a slippery stop at Starbucks.  I made it.  I should say we made it, because I totally asked Hubby to drive me to work today.  I don’t like to drive in the snow and I wanted the company.  He got the day off because of the awful conditions and so did Bean.  Don’t feel bad for him, he got free Starbucks out of it.

It’s still coming down outside.  As I sit at my desk writing working, I can’t help but be thankful.  I don’t say it often enough.  I forget to stop and just be appreciative for life and its ups and downs.  So today I’m taking an extra moment to be thankful for the things that have made me stronger, and the ability to relax.  A minute to be in gratitude for the fact that my dad is getting better, even though he still isn’t sure where he is.  Some time to appreciate the snow, and the future sunshine.

Tomorrow will be a new day and it will bring new experiences.  Today, I will just be.

Ob La Di

Today my son learned the song Ob La Di, by The Beatles. He sang it at dinner. We asked him if he knew who The Beatles were. He said yes.

“They are the bugs that wrote the song.”

I was so glad I hadn’t taken a sip of my drink.